


Mistletoe or a punch to the face, you choose.

by Albme94



Series: (✿´‿`) Christmas (◕‿◕✿) [1]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: A bunch of christmas prompts, AU, Christmas, Eventual Romance, Felix confessing, Felix is so so bad at it, Felix's family is more like, Locus confessing, Love Confessions, M/M, Mistletoe, There's a Karen here, and so npc you wont even think about it, be ready for annoying, gift wrapping, hehe funny totally appropriate gifts from family members, so much in the background, soft, they're simply mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:47:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29224182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Albme94/pseuds/Albme94
Summary: Felix suck at wrapping gifts, Locus and Santa cringes.Locus and his partner, the chihuahua, fight in the parking lot (but not really but also totally)Felix isn't allowed to cut food, don't ask why, there's a reason but we're not talking about it.There's a mistletoe, but will there be a kiss? Who knows. Well, the rainbow gift knows, it was there :)
Relationships: Felix | Isaac Gates/Locus | Samuel Ortez
Series: (✿´‿`) Christmas (◕‿◕✿) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2145717
Kudos: 3





	Mistletoe or a punch to the face, you choose.

**Author's Note:**

> What was that summary you say? GREAT QUESTION. I don't know :)  
> Enjoy the fic <3

Locus looked over at the other, Felix was wrapping presents, _badly,_ ‘’do you need—‘’ he started, Felix stuck his hand out, ‘’nope! I’m fine!’’  
The wrapping paper got cut, _if you can call it that_ … More like he just tore it right off…  
Locus couldn’t take it any longer, _‘’what_ are you doing to that poor wrapping paper?’’   
‘’What? I’m out of the red one, I have to tape on the white, call it _artistic_ and—‘’  
‘’That’s not—‘’ Locus put his own present down, rubbing his temple, ‘’lets go to the store and get more red… _This is a crime against Christmas.’’_  
Felix mimicked as they went out the door.

  
**~~**   
  


‘’Ooo’’ Felix picked up a multi coloured one, _‘’ **dude,**_ look at this… It’s so… _Gay,_ **I love it**.’’  
Locus frowned, it's as if Felix could never give him a _straight_ answer, was he bi, pan, gay? It didn’t matter… But it also did, he needed to know, for no other reason that Felix was either teasing him playfully or _flirting…_ Was he gonna flirt back? Admit to himself--  
 _‘’Excuse you,_ I found it _first’’_ Felix scoffed, dragging Locus right out of his thoughts, probably for the best.  
A woman with a _pompous_ hair style was trying to grab Felix’s rainbow wrapping paper, ‘’there’s a _billion_ other here-‘’ Felix pointed around with it, _‘’ **and**_ I’ve been holding this for a while, you’ve probably seen me move it around, _sooo’’_ Felix shrugged before turning around, he made a face, Locus frowned, they left the scene and went further into the store… Although they knew they would be sucked in and come out with at _least_ four bags… Did they need all of the things they didn’t come for? **Definitely not…** _And yet._  
  
 **~**  
  
‘’You don’t _need_ that.’’ Locus was tempted to grab the pudding away from him, as if Felix _sensed_ it, he moved a bit away, ‘’I don’t care about _anything_ else, the pudding is all that matters.” He said firmly, ending the conversation right there, Locus sighed, Felix smiled as he added his **7** pudding cups into the cart.  
The taller looked into the cursed cart, mostly Felix’s insane amount of snacks and desserts, he watched his partner carefully as he skipped around, on a hunt for more _tooth rotting sweets._  
‘’Felix, you’re going to end up with a heart burn.’’  
‘’Rather that than a _heartache_ ~’’ He winked and wiggled his shoulder, Locus could only respond with an eye roll.  
Felix got stopped, or more correctly, _ran into_ by another cart, he was about to let the other person hear it, ‘’oh’’ he blinked, ‘’it’s _you_.’’ This could only go badly.  
‘’You almost **broke** my eggs by walking into my cart!’’  
‘’Excuse you, you ran _into_ **me**!’’   
Locus grabbed the tiny angry man, ‘’he’s very sorry, and will be more careful in the future’’ he pulled the cart and Felix away, hoping to avoid the _‘Karen’._

**~**

_‘’I wanna go home~’’_ Felix pulled on Locus’ shirt like a toddler.  
‘’We’re soon done, stop whining.’’ They were next in line, a loud cough was heard behind them, they recognised the voice, _‘’_ ** _don’t_ turn around.**’’ Locus whispered, Felix started to pile their stuff on the belt, surprisingly they didn’t have more that _two bags_ worth of stuff.  
‘’Excuse me!’’   
_‘’Hurry up.’’_ Felix whispered, _‘’I'm trying’’_ Locus typed in the code of their shared card, Felix was stuffing things into bags, they were finally free and ready to leave the store, avoiding all sorts of arguments, _‘’hehe’’_ Felix smiled.   
‘’What?’’  
‘’I avoided the Karen and I got my wrapping paper and _hehe,_ because now I can wrap in _all_ the gifts in _gay_ paper and—‘’ Felix rubbed his hands like some _terribly evil fly,_ Locus carried the bags, _totally_ to get the balanced weight, had _nothing_ to do with the fact that there were eggs in one of the bags and that Felix couldn’t be trusted with _any_ bag containing any sort of breakable items, _of course not._  
  
  
 **‘’Stop. _You two_.’’** A man said, they turned around, he looked like he was a _wannabe_ business man, but he also tried to look like a _lumberjack._  
‘’Can we help you?’’ Locus narrowed his eyes, the man scoffed at Felix, ‘’you and your… Tiny friend have something that belong to my _wife_.’’  
‘’Tiny?!’’ Felix raised his voice, ‘’who are you calling _tiny,_ you _big_ fat fuck—‘’  
The man sized up Felix, which wasn’t hard… Felix wasn’t short, but he was shorter than both Locus and this man.  
 _‘’Oh there_ you are, that’s it-‘’ ‘Karen’ pointed at the wrapping paper, Locus closed his eyes, cursing internally, ‘’miss… We’ve _paid_ for it, we _had_ it first, _you need to let this go_. Let's go.’’ He nudged Felix to move, and luckily, he did.

‘’Not so fast—‘’ The husband grabbed Felix’s shoulder and yanked him back, Locus was too tired, Felix was puffed up, like a tiny _chihuahua._  
The woman tried to grab the wrapping paper, Locus dodged her.  
Felix fell backwards, nose bleeding, ‘’ow, you _fuck!’’_   
**That was it.**  
Locus put the bags down, closed the space, and with one punch, the man was down, ‘’we’re leaving. _**Now**_.’’  
Felix hurried away from the scene, Locus walking the same pace.

**~~**

‘’Sit still.’’ Locus held some paper against the other’s nose, ‘’here-‘’ he handed him a cotton ball, Felix grabbed it and pushed it up his nose.  
‘’Had we been alone—‘’ Felix scoffed, Locus turned back to the gift wrapping, ‘’ _then_ you wouldn’t kill him, we’re _incognito,_ and don’t forget your _family_.’’  
 _‘’Ugh.’’_   
Locus looked at him, his wrapping skills still horrible… ‘’Let me do it, _please,_ you’re doing it terribly.’’  
Felix put his hand over his chest, all offended, _‘’wow,_ rude’’, he shook his head, _‘’but yeah alright,_ you're right though…’’ He looked at all the _reject_ cut out paper pieces, ‘’I'm not used to use my hands for _this_ kind of work’’ he smirked, Locus thought he meant because he worked with knives, but quickly realised once Felix wiggled his eye brows.  
‘’Pervert.’’  
 _‘’Hella.’’_ Felix got up and walked into the living room.  
  


**~**   
  


_‘’psst’’_  
Locus was done with the gifts and had started to cook dinner, he tried to ignore Felix, but he just made the _‘psst’_ noise louder, sighing, he finally looked up. ‘’What?’’  
The smaller gestured him to come closer, Locus had a bad feeling about this.

Locus stood next to him, ‘’yeah?’’  
The other had a huge grin, ‘’it’s a _Christmas tradition~’’_ he said in a flirty voice, Locus narrowed his eyes like that _Fry meme_ , ‘’right…’’  
Locus looked up, ‘’you’re not serious.’’  
Felix nodded eagerly, this had to be some _terrible_ joke, if he leaned in, Felix would probably say _‘sike’_ and laugh at Locus… No, he had to act like himself.  
 _“I don’t care_ about tradition, you try and get me to kiss you under the mistletoe and I _will_ punch you.” He walked back to the kitchen, Felix stood still, he eventually sat down on the sofa, fiddling with his phone.

**~**

‘’Put. That. Down.’’ Locus put the turkey at the table, _tiny turkey,_ after all… It was _just_ for them.  
‘’Felix. Dinner _before_ dessert.’’  
‘’But _moooom—‘’_ Felix whined while grinning, he reached and grabbed the knife, ‘’wait-‘’ Locus held his hand between the turkey and Felix. “No offence meant, but I do not trust you to carve the turkey,” he watched as _multiple_ emotions flashed over Felix’s face, _‘’damn,_ you’re rude today…’’ He handed the knife over, watching as it got sliced up to _perfect_ pieces, he knew if **he** had done it, they would’ve been terrible… Of course, he would _never_ admit it.  
  


‘’Slow down, you’re gonna get hiccups.’’   
‘’Hey, binge eating at Christmas is _totally_ justified!” Felix mumbled with food in his mouth, shoving more in than swallowing, how haven’t Felix choked and died yet? One of life’s greatest mysteries.  
 _Although_ the answer is probably because Locus was baby sitting him at **all times.**  
Well, unless Felix was… _Letting out some stress._  
  
  
 **~**  
  


‘’I’m glad you liked your gifts, mom’’ Felix had his soft voice on, his speaking to ‘family’ voice.  
Locus sat by a few presents, Felix’s mom had given him a gift as well, he felt awkward about it, but it was rude to decline.  
‘’No, we haven’t opened ours yet, we’re gonna do it soon, _yes_ I’ll text you _when_ we’ve opened the one from you, yes, alright, goodbye, _yup,_ bye.’’ Felix hung up and exhaled, ‘’that takes a lot out of me… I should get some _stress_ out…’’ He flirted, Locus shrugged, **_mission failed… We’ll get him next time._**  
‘’This is from your mom.’’ Locus carefully tore the paper off, it was neatly wrapped, ‘’I don’t know _where_ you got your wrapping skills, because it’s _**clearly**_ not from your mom.’’ He snorted, _‘’haha_ you’re _**so**_ funny’’ Felix stuck his tongue out.  
 _‘’Uhm…’’_ Locus felt his face flush slowly, ‘’there’s a note that says that you _have_ to open yours.’’  
‘’What is it?’’ Felix tried to get a look, ‘’open yours first.’’  
He rattled the box, he heard something solid, he opened it, and dropped it.  
  
‘’ ** _What._ _The. Fuck._** _’’_  
  
Locus looked inside, _‘’why…’’_ Felix pointed, ‘’that’s a **dildo.** You see it right? That’s a _sex toy,_ why would my mom— _wait_ , what’s in your gift?’’  
Locus lifted up a condom, a bottle of lube and a note, he cleared his throat as he read out loud, ‘’ _dear boys_ , according to Felix’s sister, who _also_ bought all of these things, you two should resolve your sexual tension.’’ Locus wanted to die. Felix was ready to jump off a bridge.  
‘’I hope that next time I see you two, you’re a couple. Love, mom.’’

‘’Well… I have to call my sister and _murder_ her. I can't believe this just, _wow,_ ok… First of all… What even?’’ Felix picked up the dildo, _the rainbow dildo_ , it was a _bit_ bigger than Felix’s dick, ‘’it’s bigger than mine, I mean, I think so… You could always _check_ ~’’ He was sure he got him, Locus ignored him and poked at the brightly coloured toy, Felix handed it over while looking at the condom and lube.  
  
 _‘’So…’’_ Felix started, ‘’I guess… We should talk then.’’  
‘’I guess we should.’’ Locus put the toy down, Felix sat down next to him.  
‘’I like you…’’ Felix begun, ‘’like _a lot_ , if my flirting hadn’t been obvious,’’ he chuckled weakly, clearly nervous, ‘’and thought maybe you… Liked me too, but if you don’t, let’s just forget this whole thing—‘’  
  
Locus got up, Felix felt a lump in his stomach, ‘’only once.’’ Locus groaned.  
Felix looked up and smiled.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I was going to end it a bit further up, but felt I should write a bit more :)


End file.
